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Episode: Wiener Barons
Wiener Barons

[The episode begins, Ren and Stimpy are walking in the desert of nowhere, Ren was reading magazine.]

Ren: Stimpson Ol' friend, it's time we found ourselves some gainful inpointment.

Stimpy: What kind of jobs what you get? Huh, Ren?

Ren: Well, shut up stupid and we'll see. Hmmm... Chicken strangle wanted. Cheese squeezer needed.

Stimpy: Duhh, those are all crappy jobs.

Ren: Okay, corn flutter, micro taster, bologna skinner.

Stimpy: Crappy crappy crappy.

Ren: [growls] Cookie tossers.

Stimpy: Crappy.

Ren: Toe unders.

Stimpy: Crappy.

Ren: SNAPPY FISHERMAN!

Stimpy: CRAP-PY!

Ren: [growls] Alright Stimpy, YOU find us a job!

Stimpy: Uh? [sees the newspaper on his nose] Hey Ren, what about this one?

Ren: [sees the newspaper] Hmmm... "Strike It Rich In Canada. Fortunes to be made in the WIENER INDUSTRY!" Weiners, huh? [gets an ideas] Beers. Yeah. Come along, Stimpson. We have a date with a wiener.

Stimpy: Duhh, OH JOY! I was shining the wiener right now.

Ren: Alright, Stimps. Hold the light.

Narrator: And so, our heroes head North. And so, our heroes head North, STUPID! NORTH to the promiseland... CANADA! By rail. [The two pirates are on the train and Ren and Stimpy was holding a train, bonks to Ren's head at the many railroad tracks] By foot. [Ren will give it, Stimpy has a side watch on his tongue and Ren sees the side watch and Ren and Stimpy are falling the cliff] By rail again. [Ren and Stimpy was excited and train arrives] Until finally..

Ren: [offscreen] At last! CANADA!

[Ren and Stimpy are in the Canada.]

Ren: Isn't it beautiful?

Ren and Stimpy: [singing] We're in the wieners, we're in the wieners!

Wiener Guard: Hold it right there, eh? We don't cutting around here, eh? TAKE back where they come from.

Ren and Stimpy: But we want wieners!

Wiener Guard: [growls, happily] Oh, it's that so, eh? Well, when you're waiting to be a wieners, allow me to do. IN YOUR POCKETS! [slams the cross ruler at Ren and Stimpy and he both falls out] AND DON'T COME BACK, EH?

[Ren and Stimpy are looking around.]

Ren: Hmm, we have to find the way to around that moat. 12,000 miles long, 358 yards wide and it's filled with baked beans. Now, what floats on beans?

Stimpy: Hmmm... [gets an idea] PORK FAT, REN! Pork fat floats on beans.

Ren: THAT'S IT! We'll hollow out a pig!

[Ren and Stimpy was riding with pig.]

Ren: Steady as he goes, Mr. Stimpy. 36 more hours to study growing and you shall always be happy of the way there. [bean pops out and the bunch on beans are all pops out of the pig] STIMPY! WE'RE TAKING OUR BEANS! BAIL, MAN! BAIL FOR ALL YOUR WORK! [Ren and Stimpy try to bail the beans out] It's no use! ABANDON PIG!! [Ren and Stimpy gets off the pig and the pig was sinking and then, Ren was drowning that he can't swim.]

Ren: HELP! [bubbling] STIMPY!! [bubbling] I can't SWIM! [falls out the water, gurgling] Helllp!! [dies]

Stimpy: Ren! REN! I'll save you! [Stimpy was going to save Ren] Poor Ren. [Stimpy pushes his beans out of Ren's tummy] Out with the bad beans, in with the good beans. Out with the bad beans, in with the good beans.

Ren: [groans] Did we make it?

Stimpy: No, Ren. We still in the US, of A.

Ren: Well then, it's time for Plan B!

[Wiener Guard looks around, Ren and Stimpy was wearing a UN wiener inspectors costume.]

Ren: Hello. We are the UN Wiener inspectors.

Wiener Guard: Wiener inspectors, eh?

Ren: Uhhh, that's right. Uhh, I inspectored uhh, JIMMY DEAN! And this is my uhhh, assistant, the Farmer John!

Stimpy: Uhh, YES! We are here to make sure that the waste and byproducts are being properly recycled into the weiner refinery.

Wiener Guard: YES SIRS!

[Ren and Stimpy was walking on it, he both giggles]

Ren: We're in!

[Ren and Stimpy was very surprised and falls the wiener inspectors costumes off.]

Ren: LOOK STIMPY!

[Ren and Stimpy are in the wiener land.]

Ren: [offscreen] The Canadian Wiener Mountains! Thick with raw veins of wiener ore. That's wiener plains just waiting to be harvested, wild weiner tree orchards, ripe for the picking! And a majestic lake Wieners. Teeming with wiener trout. Look at it all... [Ren's eyes are money with weiner on it] There for the taking...

Ren: With my brains and your stupidity, we'll soon conquer this wiener land, and all in it... And I'll be... [Ren was handing two weiners] KING OF THE WIENER BARONS! [laughs maniacally] Whaaa....

Stimpy: Golly.

[Ren and Stimpy walks offscreen, Sun was shining, Stimpy was picking out the wiener out of the garden and put the wiener on his basket, Ren pours the weiner juice and he drinks the wiener juice.]

Ren: Mwah! Fiminy feek.

[Stimpy stomps his weiners to get squish on it's juice, Fades to the weiner field, Stimpy stabs the wiener with an axe. Stimpy was done.]

Stimpy: Phew.

[Ren was points the watch and comes to Stimpy. Stimpy comes over to Ren. Stimpy was got all the Wiener fishes and Ren and Stimpy was excited.]

Stimpy: WEE! WEEE! WEE! WEEE!

Ren: WEE! WEE! WEE, I TELL YOU! WEEE!

[Stimpy digs the axe and pulls out the pipe and pipe croaks and it blow all the wieners out of the pipe.]

Stimpy: YIPPEEE!!!!!

Ren: WE DID IT! [Ren kisses Stimpy] WE DID I-I-I-IT!!! WE... STRUCK... WIENIIIIIIIIES!!!!!!!!!!

[The newspaper says "New Wiener Barons Hit Town. Fades to WeenyWorld, Ren and Stimpy was in the wiener hot tub.]

Ren: Ahhh, this is a life, ehhhh, Stimpy?

Stimpy: You set it, buddy. [eats the wiener grape] Hey, how about to watch TV?

Ren: Sure thing, pal. [Ren turns on the TV]

News Reporter: And now it's time to the acrology report.

Ren: Ahhh, my favorite show. [put the wiener cigar on his mouth] Light me. [Stimpy fires the wiener cigar and Ren smokes it]

News Reporter: And the stop market today, a mountain rating split. A dog jones roger. Crappy future are on the rise. And starts plunged as the bottom fell out to the wiener market.

Ren: WHAT!? [swallows the wiener cigar] What's that about my wieners!?

News Reporter: That's right! It turns out that due to the invention of a synthetic sausage, all wiener stock is now null and void.

Ren: Stimpy, do you know what this MEANS!? We're broke again! Nothing but the couple of worthless bum.... WORTHLEEEE-E-EEEESS!!!! [Ren and Stimpy sinks away, fades to the city, Ren and Stimpy are absolutely nothing.]

Ren: [wakes up] STIMPY! I had a vision! I was visited in the night like an angel.... who told me it's going to rain beans for 40 days and 40 nights! And he told ME... get an ark... out of wieners... and to get myself "oot" of Canada! [pants, fades to wiener mold and raindrops made of wieners. Ship sells away. The iris was closing completely at the end of the episode.]

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