Who's Stupid Now? (transcript)

Episode: Who's Stupid Now?

Announcer: Heralding the biggest secret in Hollywood, the dog you've all been waiting for... Ren Hoek!

Ren: This is to all my loyal fans.

Ren: LOVE ME!

Ren: No longer are the days of the frail Chihuahua i once was, now I am larger than life itself, but I mustn't get ahead of my self, let us recount the past.

Producer: In the years that we expect together on the show, I feel as though we grown, hmm, close.

Stimpy: (squint-eyed) Aww, that's so sweet~. Ain't that sweet Ren~? (Ren is angry, then squints his eyes, Stimpy's smile disappears) [Luckily he didn't punch him]

Producer: That's why I hate to...(sadly) leave you guys. (sniffs, then cries. This causes Ren to smile)

Ren: Leave? You got fired, didn't ya?

Producer: (stops crying) No, (smiles as Ren stops smiling) you did. Gahahahahaha~! (Ren looks at the viewers with pissed off face) Yep, I'm canning the show. (Ren is mad) Seeing is how you're an eagletisical, Self-centered, pig-headed!- (Ren freaks out)

Ren: Who are you callin' pig-headed?! heheh... Oh, you got me all wrong pal. I can prove it to ya. I'll...I'll do anything you want! As long you keep our show going!

Producer: Well, I don't know.

Ren: (trying to make the Producer feel better) Ahh, Come on. (pointing at Stimpy) Can't you see Stimpy's torments?

(Ren & Stimpy both smile nervously)

Producer: Anything, huh?

Ren: (so excited) ANYTHING!!

(The Producer looks at Ren and Stimpy moving their eyebrows)

Producer: I've got it! A twisting chemistry! (points Stimpy, who has an excited smile) You play the skinny jerk! (Stimpy's smile disappears) (pointing Ren, who has a insanely mouth open) And you play the fat idiot.

(Ren's insane smile disappears, screaming until his skin comes off, showing his skeleton)

Ren: AAAAAAAEEEEEEEYYYYYAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!

Producer: Of course to play the part, you gotta look the part!

(wipes scene into a billboard that says, "Fat and Thin Institute For The St★rs)

Ren: This is stupid. I'll keep an ounce since I was a pop. (Ren is sitting on a chair next to a conveyor belt) And What is this stuff?

Producer: It's a tasty milkshake. Try it. It's good!

Ren: Yeah well I'd like to see you drink it!

Producer: Let me remind you Ren, it's either my way, OR THE HIGHWAY!

Ren: Well, if you put it that way, you get so mad!

(Ren drinks it.)

Producer: Say~, that's good~! You-you you sound just like Stimpy.

Ren: You know, This stuff kinda gross on it. What's in it?

Producer: Ooh, it's a secret. Let's turn it up, shall we?

(Ren repeatedly drinks it and the viewer sees that the "milkshake" maybe Stimpy's fat cells)

Stimpy: It sure does tickle!

(We see a fat Ren. He drunk the last one of milkshake and got stuffed)

Ren: Ahh.

Producer: Hey! Come for you, buddy. Meet Stimpy.

Ren: He must look hideous. [to Producer] Just covered up, He must been worse that I thought.

[The producer will cover up.]

Producer: VOILA!

[Ren shocked and Fat Ren sees Thin Stimpy.]

[At the dressing room, Ren sees at Stimpy.]

Ren: Let me take a look at you. [looks at Stimpy's arms] Smooth as silk. [looks at his fat arms] Lumpy, lumpy, LUMPY! [sobbing, sniffs] [looks at Stimpy's legs] Thighs of steel. [looks at his fat arms] Dice of limeonade!

[Ren has a tears of sadness and gets angry.]

Ren: [yells at Stimpy] YOU!! So it's like THAT, is it? Oh, it's trying to up-stage. WELL, IT'S NOT GONNA WORK OUT THIS TIME! [grins] I'm on you, pal. I've got your number.

Stimpy: Of course you do, Ren. We live together.

Ren: Don't play stupid with me! Or don't you remember?

[Stimpy nods "no".]

Ren: I'm the stupid one now! [sobbing]

Stimpy: There there, Ren. You're not stupid.

Ren: Yes, I am. For living this lie, everyone always like you better. I never understooded. You of all people being stupid and bloated and...

[Ren was confused.]

Ren: Wait a minute. [giggles] THAT'S IT! [evil laughs]

Stimpy: Take it easy, Ren!

Ren: YOU FOOL! [knocks on Stimpy's head] Ya wanna see? [knocks on Stimpy's head again] Don't you get it!? Everyone loves the stupid fat guy. And that's.... MEEEEEEE!!!!

[The lightning flashes and Ren is laughing maniacally.]

Ren: I can see it all now. The lights.... The crowds cheering... [points at Stimpy] and you'll be a jerk. Scorning by millions.

Stimpy: Whenever makes you happy, Ren.

[Ren was surprised and gets grumpy, He put the hat and sweater on and goes out the door.]

Stimpy: Where are you going, Ren?

Ren: To address my fans! Uhh, dueeh... [giggles, slams the door]

Stimpy: I love it when he's so determined. Now how to play Ren. Uh, okay, Here goes.... [inhales] Where'smydinner?

[Stimpy's mouth drools.]

Stimpy: This is harder than I ever imagined. Let me try again.

[Stimpy is think harder and harder, Then hands is strangling.]

Stimpy: Where's...

[Stimpy's eyes is tearing up.]

Stimpy: MY....

[Stimpy's brain was zapping.]

Stimpy: DINNERRRR?!?!?

[Stimpy's brain explodes and Stimpy's eyebrows furrow.]

Announcer: The dog you've all been waiting for... Ren Hoek!

Ren: This is to all my loyal fans.

Ren: LOVE ME!

Ren: At last we're at the president. My glory days.

[Ren was looking at the audience.]

Ren: Uh... duh?

Man: You! Disgusting slob!

[Ren gasps.]

Women: YOU FAT PIG!

[Ren was scared.]

Case men: Why don't you cover up? There's children's pasint.

[Audience throws the tomato at Ren and He rans away crying, Ren slams the door at the dressing room with Stimpy.]

Ren: Stimpy, they laughed at me and called me names! They just don't understand! You're the only one will truly understand me.... Pal? [smiles]

Stimpy: Understand nothing. Where's my dinner? Well, you're up to your stupid with high-gens, I've been starving! You know, you're good for 2 things and no good for nothing. And another thing, ever wanna mouthwash, you've got bad breath, man!

[Ren whimpers.]

[At the directors room, Ren and Stimpy are on the stage.]

Producer: Everyone, quiet on a set! Alright Stimpy, Ready?

Stimpy: Ready, chief.

Producer: Ready, stupid?

Ren: Not really.

Producer: ACTION!!

[The reel starts rolling.]

Stimpy: Where's my dinner? Don't you know already 12 o'clock?

[Ren gasps]

Producer: [shocked and gets angry] Say your lines, stupid!

Ren: Uh... duh?

[The producer is looking at the screen and blows their noses like a bull and turning the anger red and he stops.]

Producer: Come on, you filthy slob. ACT!!!!!

Stimpy: Why are you trying to do, you moron? Make me look bad? You're the emberassment. What else you need? You kick on a head?

Producer: CUT! CUT! CUT! You're fat, you're ugly and you can't remember your lines. WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO DO, MORON?!?

[Ren is surrounded by camera and the camera sees Ren.]

Ren: STOOOOOOOOOOOP!!!!!!!!! You want me to be stupid? I'll show you stupid!

[Ren holds up at Producer.]

Ren: I QUIIIIIIT!!!!!!!!!!

[Ren throws a producer at Stimpy and slams on the wall and he both faints. The camera sees Ren and he looked the audience once more.]

Ren: [worried] Not again.

[A few seconds later, The audience is cheering at Ren and they all throwing rose and Ren is so excited and he's doing a pose, A picture of Fat Ren "Best Performance ever" on the Variety newspaper.]

Producer: Great performance, kid. You're going places.

Stimpy: You're the best.

Ren: I love sorting.

[The iris is closing completely at the end of the episode.]