Episode: Untamed World: A Cartoon

[The episode opens with a title sequence "Untamed World"]
[Ren wears a pith helmet and stands in an explorer's office.]

Ren: Welcome to the another exciting episode of Untamed World. I'm your host, Marland Hoek. And over here we have my courageous assistant, Stimpy. [Stimpy salutes] Today, we focus on the vast diversity of [closeup of Ren's mouth] organisms [cuts back to Ren] that have evolved on our humble planet. To observe some of this vast variety, we will travel to the Galapagos Islands. [Ren spins a globe.] A virtual textbook of the process of evolution.

Ren: Today, we retrace the footsteps of the famous naturalist, Charles Darwin. Who, thousands of years ago, came upon these remote islands formed by piles of volcanic material thrown up in a firey cataclysm. These islands have produced a plethora of exotic mandibles. Each a slight variation on a similar theme. For instance on one island, we find the elusive Horny-Billed Chihuahua. This handsome creature has evolved a rather large beak, which it uses to find delectable nuts hiding in the grass. He uses this powerful appendage to burst open the hard shell. [the Horny-Billed Chihuahua smashes a walnut with beak.] In order to get at the soft, pulpy nut meat inside. [the Horny-Billed Chihuahua gulps, swallows, then chews the nut] On a neighboring island, we find the Needle-Billed Chihuahua. [Needle-Billed Chihuahua pecks like a woodpecker.] This fellow has adapted his beak for obtaining food in hollow logs and other hard-to-get-at places. [Needle-Billed Chihuahua pecks inside Stimpy's nose.]

Ren: On the same island, we find the leviathan of tortoises. The Giant Soft-Shelled Stimpy. We're about to witness the miracle of nature. Every 30 years, this marvelous creature painstakingly drags its ponderous bulk to a secluded spot on the beach were she digs a hole in the sand and begins her beautiful ritual. [Giant Soft-Shelled Stimpy lays eggs.] The job done, the mother Stimpy buries her young. Then, after concealing her payload of life, she mysteriously drags herself back to the sea. Where she goes... [closeup on Ren, echoing] Nobody knows! [normal voice] But then, in just a few months, something beautiful happens. Life begins anew. [Baby soft-shelled Stimpys hatch from eggs.] It's really amazing how these cute little fellows instinctively crawl their way to the open sea. Yet few escape the keen eyesight of hungry seagull! Even now, nature's scavenger has spotted an unfortunate newborn.

Stimpy: Oh, Mr. Hoek! Here comes ol' man, SEAGULL! Ah! We've got to help the poor little turtle!

Ren: No, my friend, we must not interfere. For it is nature's way. Yes, it made seem cruel, but we must admire the skill this powerful scavenger stalks his meal. See how they spreads his magnificent plumes! How he exposes his powerful Gleaming incisors... paralyzing his victim with fright! YES! THIS LOOKS LIKE IT! [Seagull roars hideously, then shrinks back to normal and comforts baby turtle.]

Seagull: Uh, say mac, um, could you like, spare some change for like, a bite to eat?

Soft-Shell Stimpy: WHAT!? Daaahhh... [gives a quarter to Seagull] Here! Now go on! SCRAM!!!

Seagull: Like, bless you, sir. [zooms away]

Soft-Shell Stimpy: Deadbeat. [walks away]

Stimpy: Phew!

[Fades to the mysterious cave.]

Ren: Here we are, deep in the bowels of a stinking hot cave, which has not been penetrated by light in millions of years. What kind of creatures could possibly live in the environment such as this?

[Flashlight reveals a Blind Albino Cave Hoek.]

Ren: I'm going to be sick! [Barfing sounds.] Nevertheless, The Blind Albino Cave Höek has developed a keen sense of radar which it uses to track its prey. [Blind Albino Cave Höek's head opens and a radar antenna pops out. The radar detects a fly. Blind Albino Cave Höek catches a fly with his tongue and chews it.] There! He's got it! [Fly screams in agony.] Thanks to the magic of the slow motion camera, we can now show you just how ugly the inside of someone's mouth can be! [In slow motion, Blind Albino Cave Höek's tongue slaps the fly three times, grabs it puts it in his mouth. Slow motion scream of agony.]

[Fades to the forest.] Ren: Now, we in the nature game know how important the art of camouflage is. [A moose head steps out of the bushes. From the neck can be seen Ren and Stimpy's feet. It/they run next to a beaver and stop. The squirrel looks at the moose head. They run off screen, and splashing is heard. The squirrel unscrews the giant acorn he was chewing on and drinks from it, like a flask of booze.] Soon, we approach the nesting grounds of a creature from the prehistoric past. The terrible... fearsome.. CROCOSTIMPY! If we listen very carefully, we might just hear the beautiful, haunting mating call of this majestic beast. Listen, you eediot.

Crocostimpy: Happy Happy! Joy Joy!

[Crocostimpy suddenly stands up on his hind legs with lunchbox in hand, and a bus pulls up. He gets on the bus. The bus is full of Crocostimpys, each with a lunchbox.]

Crocostimpy #2: Happy Happy!

Crocostimpy #3: Joy Joy!

Crocostimpy #4: Happy Happy!

Crocostimpy: Happy Happy!

Crocostimpy #4: Joy Joy!

Crocostimpy Driver: Happy Happy!

All the Crocostimpys: Happy Happy Happy! Joy Joy Joy! Happy Happy Happy! Joy Joy Joy! [Bus drives off. Fade to next scene.]

Ren: Today, we stalk the wily speckle-throated burrowing five-toed Yak.

Stimpy: Ehh, and I'm going to tag him!

Ren: Theres it's lair. Quietly, patiently, we wait. [Yak tiptoes behind Ren and Stimpy, carrying his hooves like a pair of shoes.] HEY BUDDY, WHERE'S YOUR TAG!? [Yak screams and takes off with a shot.] Quick, follow that yak! [They chase the yak.] The tranquilizer, man! Use the tranquilizer! [Stimpy blows a tranquilizer dart. It sticks in Ren.] You there, YAK! It's no use... [voice slows down a bit] to resist. You're no match.. for us... you... creature... yooooouuuu..... [Ren falls down. He goes into a four-legged pose, shakes, collapses again. His eyes are open but have huge pupils.]

Stimpy: Oh boy! I got one, I got one! [A paralyzed Ren looks at Stimpy. Stimpy tags Ren's ear, and smiles gleefully.]

[Fade to a desert.]

Ren: Finally on our quest, we visit a species with unique method of fighting the searing heat of the desert sand. [Frilled Ren somehow lifts all four feet into the air together, and is so relaxed. Frilled Ren run.s] Now, see the unusual hind leg running style, distinctive to the Frilled Ren. [Frilled Ren goes up a tree.] Often, this perky little lizard will preform a fascinating display. Watch it now, as it extends and inflates its neck sack. It does this in order to attract....

Host #1: Ooh! Wow!

Ren: Nature show hosts!

Host #2: Ahh!

Host #3: Wonderful! Marvelous!

Host #4: Nice sack, man! [All the hosts take pictures of the Frilled Ren.]

[Back at the office.]

Ren: Each creature is important in the scheme of the untamed world, and we must preserve this delicate balance. For without creatures such as the Frilled Ren, there would be no nature show hosts! Say Stimpy, what's that on your tongue? [Stimpy sticks his tongue out. Ren tags Stimpy's tongue.] See you again for Untamed World. [Ren turns to reveal the tag Stimpy put on his ear earlier. Fades to black at the end of the episode.]

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