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Episode: To Salve And Salve Not
To Salve And Salve Not
  • [Stimpy is watching on Television. It hears ding dong. and Stimpy runs to see the mailmen.]
  • [Ren is reading a newspaper.]
  • Stimpy: (off-screen) Why sure, I'll take one! 4095, 4098, 7000! Here ya go! Thanks again!
  • [Stimpy sees Ren.]
  • Stimpy: Hey Ren, Guess what?
  • Ren: Hmmm... Let's see. Am I going to have to KILL YOU?!?
  • Stimpy: Maybe?
  • Ren: Well, who was it?
  • Stimpy: It was a nice men who will change the way we live forever. EEEEE!
  • [Ren is frustrated.]
  • Ren: What are you talking about, you EEDIOT?!?
  • Stimpy: Wait here, I'll be right back.
  • [Stimpy quickly runs to get it.]
  • Ren: WHAT? I supposed to buy another stupid subscri-
  • [Ren is shocked.]
  • Ren: Huh?
  • Stimpy: Hey, Ren! Look what I've just brought!
  • Ren: Why I oughta!
  • [Ren will slapping his hand with his newspaper.]
  • Stimpy: Hold it! Before you smack me, Let it inscruel the vern juice of this wonderest time saving device. AHEM! Allow me to demonstrate the full caplebilities of the one and only, Titan 4000. The baby has 600 cubid inches of RAW dark destroying carpet ripping hose power from it's turbo charged fully blown henly. Allow me to demonstrate.
  • Ren: Stimpy, this time I'm really going to-
  • Chimp: COMING THROUGH!
  • [The Chimp plugs the Titan 4000 and Ren and Stimpy looks at Chimp goes off the window.]
  • Stimpy: And it can suck a monkey through 40 feet of guiden hose.
  • [Stimpy Turns Titan 4000 on. Monkey goes in the Titan 4000 and a hose too. Ren was fully shocked and he screams and he let go of Titan 4000 and sucks the skin of it's skeleton.]
  • Stimpy: See, Ren. It's the last words of a dimastic technology.
  • [Ren screams and Titan 4000 sucks Ren's lungs and the brain too, then Ren will pull the brain out of Titan 4000.]
  • Ren: Must... save... the brain!!!
  • [Titan 4000 sucks a skeleton in. Stimpy turn the Titan 4000 off. And zip it down and see Ren inside the Titan 4000.]
  • Stimpy: And it's hours for only 1200 easy repayments.
  • [Ren punches Stimpy to it's fist and zip it back up.]
  • [Ren is sleeping on the couch and it has a magazine on his head, then Stimpy is biting the couch looking at Ren. The doorbell ring heard.]
  • Stimpy: Joy. [runs at the door]
  • Salesman: Howdy-doo, neighbor!
  • [Stimpy will holding a Salesman's hand and he grabs a hand tighter at Stimpy and he shakes his hand.]
  • Salesman: YOU are the man who can use a good can of SALVE!
  • [Cuts to Salve, then cuts to Stimpy.]
  • Stimpy: Now I...
  • [Salesman stamps the salve at Stimpy and let it go.]
  • Salesman: Let's salve, you say? Why, it's the wonderful goop of the jelly usive. Will were you be without salve?
  • Stimpy: I...
  • [Salesman puts the salve on Stimpy's mouth.]
  • Salesman: Let me ask you a question.
  • [Stimpy spits the Salve out of his mouth.]
  • Salesman: How do you think George Washington fitting to his party dress?
  • Stimpy: Hmmm... [gets the idea] [inhales]
  • Salesman: [shouts at Stimpy] SALVE!!!!!!
  • [Crashing effect was hearding.]
  • Salesman: Let me ask you a personal question. How do you think Columbus was covered scarvy? Hmm?
  • [Stimpy will be thinking their thoughts.]
  • Stimpy: SSSS-salve?
  • Salesman: That's absolutely correct!
  • [Saleman gives a slave to Stimpy.]
  • Salesman: What did ya say, pal? How many cans can you put you down for?
  • Stimpy: Hey, ren! Let's buy some-
  • [Ren slaps at Stimpy and stops at Salesman.]
  • Ren: How DARE you take the average of MY blithering eediot! Now take your smelly ol' salve and GET OUTTA HERE!
  • [Ren shuts the door at Salesman.]
  • Ren: That's for you. [snap his fingers]
  • [Stimpy sees the Ren's room door and he opens the door and he sneaks to the fashion.]
  • Stimpy: Ah.
  • [Stimpy puts on his Pink Flourish on his face, eye and even his butt too, and he giggles. Stimpy is having a comb and he combs his hair to a handsome hair. The hair goes up.]
  • Stimpy: Hmm.
  • [Stimpy combs his hair again to a handsome hair and it was happy. The hair goes up again. Stimpy was netrual. Stimpy combs his hair tight and the hair is so handsome, he is brave. The hair goes up once again. Stimpy gets frustrated and he rubs his hair but handsome hair. The hair goes up once more. Stimpy is furious and having a by steps and Stimpy was feeling nervous and then he sighs sadly. He lay the desk. Salesman pops out on Slave.]
  • Salesman: Having trouble with your hair? Nothing of heavy diabolical Salve will take care of.
  • [Salesman puts the slave on Stimpy's head and he combs the hairsome hair perfectly, Stimpy is so happy.]
  • Salesman: In fact, we can fashion a whole new hairstyle!
  • [Salesman will rubbing slave on Stimpy's head and get a cool salve hairstyle.]
  • Stimpy: [screams happily]
  • [Stimpy put the hand in his pocket, Ren opens the door. Salesman hides the pink flourish.]
  • Ren: Get down from there! How many times do I have to tell you? Stay outta my stuff! I will make up is for grown-ups, not boys like you. Maybe someday when you're a grown men like me.
  • [Ren picks up at Salesman as Pink Flourish to put on him, then suddenly, He shocked and screamed wildly and heart comes out of his mouth, then Ren will kick the Salesman out of the house. Ren will pushes Stimpy.]
  • Ren: Here, why don't you get yourself busy and clean up this mess! That'll keep away for your stupid salesmen.
  • Stimpy: Yes, Ren.
  • [Stimpy is having a dish conditioner and there's nothing in there. Salesman was on the hose.]
  • Salesman: What's a matter, bub? Out of soap again? Well, who needs it!
  • [Saleman slaps dish conditioner off his Stimpy's head.]
  • Salesman: Why would wash away dirt the ol' fashion way when you can hide it the all new salve way. A little dabble doo ya!
  • [Salesman was washing the plate with Slave and shows Stimpy.]
  • Salesman: And how about the lemony-scent?
  • [Stimpy smells Slave and goes in the nose.]
  • Stimpy: I'll buy it!
  • Ren: HEY!
  • [Ren will stand up with his plunger.]
  • Ren: DROP THAT SALVE!
  • [Ren will plug Salesman up with his plunger and goes down the drain.]
  • Ren: WE... DON'T... WANT... NO.......... SALVE!!!
  • [Ren was turning on the water.]
  • Saleman: [gurgling] Salve with the one of these rasty holllle!!!!
  • [The water is flowing away.]
  • [Fades to Ren reading a magazine and Stimpy is waiting from the toaster.]
  • Ren: Hey Stimpy, hurry up with that jelly sandwich.
  • Stimpy: 5, 4, 9, 12, 1! [Toast pops out] BINGO!
  • [Stimpy has a knife and he's about to spread it and Salesman face appeared on the toast.]
  • Salesman: Hey, don't use jelly. Have a salve each instead!
  • [Salesman is putting salve on his knife.]
  • Salesman: it's indigestible.
  • [Salesman was spreading salve on his face of the toast.]
  • Stimpy: Wow! Give me a hundred bucks for it!
  • [Ren is fully shocked and Ren steps angrilly on the butter.]
  • Ren: Alright, THAT'S IT! WHAT DID I TELLING YOU ABOUT MY FOOD?!? [gives a toast] I've had it! I'll show you with you grave sick of Salesman's in paste like you!
  • [Ren looks at butter steps on it, and he nervously giggles and he's forgot it, he steaming red anger. Ren holds the toast to the trash can.]
  • Ren: I'll get you from this sweep of the EEDIOT sidekick.
  • [Ren was spreading toast crust on his knife.]
  • Salesman: Ow! Ow! Owowowowow! Ow! OW! Owowowowowowow Ow!
  • Ren: Well, that's that.
  • [Ren whistles at the dog, and the angry dog comes up and Ren grabs the toast and Rage dog biting a toast and he shakes his head ragily and he runs off. Ren is laughing maniacally.]
  • [Ren is in the bathroom reading Romance book]
  • Ren: Well, we finally got rid of it pasky Salesman. Now to relax with a good book.
  • [Ren is reading a romantic book. Ren get a toliet paper but not there.]
  • Ren: Wha?
  • {Toliet Paper are have no paper. Ren feels sad. Salesman's eye is on the Toilet led.]
  • Salesman: Pssst, hey buddy.
  • [Salesman pops out and Ren looks at Salesman.]
  • Salesman: You've been this mess now if ya have a can of Salve on hand.
  • [Ren is going rage with blue skin and the skin shatters by anger and he extremely facepalms and then it feels sad.]
  • Ren: I can't take it any longer. You win. I'll buy a stinkin' can of his STUPID salve. [sniffs, sobbing]
  • Salesman: Sorry, pal. But your stupid fat friend just brought all my salve.
  • [Ren looks at bathroom certain. The certain is open and Stimpy brought all his salves. Ren was surprised and he feels sad and he started crying. Stimpy is handing salve to Ren, Ren looks at the salve and he picking Slave at his finger and he looks at the viewers, The iris stops on him and he smiles happily. The iris closes completely at the end of the episode.]