Episode: Stimpy's Pet
Stimpy's Pet

[The episode begins at Ren and Stimpy's house. Stimpy is watching TV and Ren is reading a newspaper. The doorbell rings.]

Ren: Stimpy, get off your hairy butt and answer the door.

Stimpy: Your command is my wish! [Opens the door and sees the clown.] Joy!

Ren: I'm going to be SICK!

Stimpy: It's an adorable...abandoned...CIRCUS CLOWN!

Ren: Good, let's fry him up.

Stimpy: No, Ren! He just a lost babe in the woods.

Ren: Ohhh no, the last time you adopted a circus clown, I ended up doing all the work, and I still haven't gotten rid of that rash!

Stimpy: PLEASE REN! PLEASE! He's all alone in the world. With no one to shave him to floss his toes, to stroke his soft fur. Just look at the cute little face. [Sid has a cigar on his mouth]

Ren: Well... do you promise to feed him? Burp him? And taking to his throwups, sir?

Stimpy: Duh-huuuuh?

Ren: I don't think..

Stimpy: RAPTURE! [dashs offscreen] Then it shall be my very own, and I shall name him... [Stimpy hugs Sid.] Sid.

Sid: What's shaking, Sparky? [Fades to Ren, that night. Ren was shocked. Stimpy and Sid giggles.]

Ren: Oh no... backyard! [Sid whimpers. Sid honks the horn and juggling balls.]

Ren: Take that phony circus act outside! I ain't buyin' it. [Sid whimpers, Sid stares at Ren]

Sid: Oh, I see. A pink mosquito wears the pants of his family. Fine, I'm taking it to the street. But don't be surprised if tomorrow, you find MY FROZEN BLOATED CORPSE, ROTTING IN THE NOON DAY SUN!!! ..... Sparky. [Sid shuts the door. Fades to Ren and Stimpy sleeping on the bed. Dog howls offscreen. Ren was scared.]

Stimpy: Poor little Sid is cold, Ren!

Sid: Hey Mosquito boy, let me in! I'm getting emotionally scarred out here. AND I'M FREEZING MY TUCKUS OFF!!!

Stimpy: Oh Ren, his tuckus. A phantom of the cruel enfluence. HE'S GONNA DIE!!!! I will save him. [Stimpy opens the door.] Welcome to the house of Snuggles. [Sid pants happily like a dog, Ren looks at the Sid]

Ren: Snuggle THIS!!! [slaps the newspaper at Sid and smash on the wall. Sid was taking a shower.]

Sid: [singing] Happy happy joy stinkin' joy! Happy happy joy stinkin' joy! Happy happy joy stinkin' joy! Happy happy joy stinkin' joy! [Ren was looking at Sid.] Hope you got a plunger, Sparky. [Ren looks at Sid's hair in the shower.]

Ren: See here, you little- [Sid shaking off the water at Ren and walks off] Runt. [Sid hugs Stimpy.]

Stimpy: Isn't Sid a good boy? [smiles]

Ren: No, he's a hairy... little... FREAK!!!

Stimpy: But he's a trained little person. Do a trick for Ren, Sid. [Ren looks at Sid.]

Sid: So, you wanna do the trick? Pull my finger.

Ren: [gasps] STIMPY, NOOOO!!!! [Fades to black, fart sound was hearing offscreen. Fades to Ren and Stimpy] Okay, one more time, if you let the little monster come near me again, I'll..

Stimpy: Duhhh... Oh yeah! Kill me slow. [braved]

Ren: And...

Stimpy: Take my show away from me?

Sid: Hmm, smooth butt. I heard of that.

Ren: And.. [Sid bites Ren's butt, Ren screaming]

Stimpy: Oh, good, he's teething.

Ren: Okay you little miscreant, it's time for paper training. Go do you business. [Sid is walking.]  What's taking so long? [Ren shocked. Sid was in the bathroom, reading a newspaper and talking to Sid's telephone.]

Sid: Yeah? Put 200 down on greased lightning.

Stimpy: He's paper trained and he's learned to use the phone, too. [Stimpy and Sid are playing a disaster training. Ren screams, Stimpy and Sid are playing pat-a-cake.]

Ren: That's it! I've had enough of you and your stupid pet! THERE'S A PASTE ALL OVER THE HOUSE!! THE TOILET SEAT IS ALWAYS UP!!! And have you seen the price of clown pants now a days?!? And playing with my stuff is strictly [echoing] VERBOTEN! [Sid was roaring ferocious. Ren was scared. Sid attacks Ren offscreen.]

Stimpy: Now Ren, you should refrain from using any Slavic dialects. Sid is a German attack clown. [Fades to Sid sleeping on the dog nap.]

Ren: Gonna bag me a clown! [Sid was going to the wall]

Sid: Alright buddy, you wanna piece of me? Come on, big boy! Let's wrestle! [Ren bags the clown, Ren was put down the drain. Ren chuckles evilly.]

Ren: This little clown is taking the sack out on the road.

Sid: What's this? You can't flush me, the pipes too small, you gonna need a wider gage. [Ren plugs down the drain at Sid, Ren has demonally laughs.]

Stimpy: REN! [Ren was shocked and start reading the newspaper] Ren, Have you seen little Sid? I can't seem to find 'em anywhere.

Ren: Hmmm, oh yeah. He ran away.

Stimpy: Ran away?

Ren: Imagine something not loving you anymore and took off.

Stimpy: [gasps] BUT I LOVE HIM!! [cries] I love him would made everything in the world... except you Ren. [crying, runs offscreen, Cuts to the Rainy day, Stimpy opens the door.] He is a fruit of my LOINS! The apple of mudpie! SEND IN THE CLOWNS! Send.. in the... [sniffs] clowns. [Stimpy walks back home, The timecard says "9 Weeks Later..." Cuts to Sid at the picture and had two candles. Stimpy was praying.] Dear lord, please let Sid know I'm sorry... [Cuts to sewer, Stimpy spoke offscreen] Then I hope we forgives me and I hope that we ever he is... [Sid goes out of the mud] Whatever he's doing.... he is had me.

Sid: Amen. [Sid put the cigar on his mouth, Fades to Ren and Stimpy's House.]

Ren: Goodnight, Stimpy.

Stimpy: Goodnight, Ren. Goodnight, Sid. [sobs] [Thunderstorm strikes, The creepy Sid was all wide at Ren.]

Sid: [creepy voice] WHAT'S SHAKING, SPARKY?!?!? [Fades to black, Fades to the next morning.]

Ren: [yawns] Hey! What's stinks!? Do we have a little accident last night? Let's take a look! [Ren uncovers the blanket, Sid was having a babies.]

Stimpy: It's Sid! He's back and he's had puppies. [All the Sid's puppies says "What's shaking, Sparky?" and had a cigar on all the babies mouth]

Sid: Yeah yeah, full of loves.

Stimpy: But, but, you don't love me anymore.

Sid: Who did told you with that crap?

Ren: HEY! GET OFF! GET OFF! [Babies are biten on Ren's ear and head.] GET IT OUT! LET GO! [Stimpy loves Sid.] There kinda cute when they're little.

Stimpy: So, uh, Can we keep 'em? [All the babies was sucking Ren's thumb and parts too.]

Ren: Act the neighbor. [Sid's puppies was shocked. Sid's puppies roars ferocious. All Sid's puppies are attacking Ren. Cuts to Stimpy.]

Ren: OW! OW! LET GO!!

Stimpy: A house full of love.

[The iris was closing completely. At the end of the episode, Ren was continue screaming during the babies scratching and bites offscreen.]

Ren: [offscreen] HELP! BRBRBRBBR!!!

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