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Episode: Sammy and Me
Sammy and Me

[The episode begins at Ren and Stimpy's house. Pan to the mailbox which reads "Hoek". Stimpy giggles from inside the mailbox. The mailbox shakes and opens, and Stimpy's head comes out.]

Stimpy: [in a high voice] Oh!

[Stimpy shuts the mailbox as Jasper the mailman whistles "I've Been Working on the Railroad" up to it. He puts a package in the mailbox, but it doesn't fit. Jasper looks annoyed, then gets an idea. He punches the package into the mailbox and walks off. Stimpy pops out with the package in his hands.]

Stimpy: IT'S HERE! [Stimpy hugs the package, runs down a highway to a treehouse which is signed "Stimpy's Club". He pants, giggles and laughs, laughs maniacally, inhales.] Now I can be just like my hero. My very own Sammy Mantis Kit! Gimme! [He rips open the package and holds up a shirt with a gold chain.] Cool threads! [He holds up a pair of white shoes.] Tap shoes! [He hugs an insect tail.] Screw-on thorax! [grabs a glass eye] Golly, Sammy's insect eye. [it sparkles too, Stimpy screws the insect eye into his own eye. Fades to night. Ren is reading a newspaper.]

Stimpy: [in silhouette] Hey Ren!

Stimpy: [turns on the light and is wearing a Sammy Mantis costume and smoking a cigarette] Yeah! Oh man. Hey Ren. [giggles] Guess who I am, babe. Man. Babe. [tap dances for a moment]

Ren: Lorne Greene?

Stimpy: [frowns] Oh Ren, you can't even trying. [gets an idea] I KNOW! He's famous for his impersonations, like THIS one. Ehh, um... [clear throat] I thought I you hear you could, HEY LADY! PRETTY LADY! OH DING DING! [blinks] Well, well, guess again!

Ren: Wally Cox?

Stimpy: Hmmmm... I know! I'll sing for you. Kachika, kachooka, kachika, chika, chika! [singing] Who can say his prayers? When he's eating lunch... [bites down] MAN... the mantid man. The mantid man can. The mantid man can when he BITES down on you're skull, and sucks out all your brains and MMM it tastes good. [singing like Sammy Mantics] Who can eat some siblings? And his mom and dad! [normal voice] Come on, Ren! You sing it!

Ren & Stimpy: [singing] The mantid man! The mantid man can! The mantid man can when he BITES [crunches] down on you're skull, and suck out all your brains and MMM it tastes good.

Stimpy: Man, I know it tastes real good.

[Ren and Stimpy both pose like Sammy Mantis, as the fez drops at Ren's Head.]

Ren: Stimpy! I know who you are. Merv Tormel. [Stimpy was grumpy, he grabs Ren] STIMPY, what are you doing!? [Stimpy bites on Ren's head] OW OW OW OW OW OW! Okay, okay, okay! You're Sammy Mantis! YOU'RE SAMMY MANTIS!!! [Stimpy stops eating it]

Stimpy: Duhhh, how'd you guess?

Ren: Cut out this Sammy Mantis crap and get to BED!!

[Stimpy wags Sammy's tail, Ren feels grumpy. Stimpy walks offscreen. Fades to Ren and Stimpy's house. Ren and Stimpy are on the bed and Ren was reading a newspaper.]

Stimpy: Ren, would you read me a story?

Ren: No.

Stimpy: I'll do anything you say.

Ren: Well, ya like my toes clean?

Stimpy: Yes.

Ren: Would you... throw away all your magic nose goblins? [smiles]

Stimpy: Yeaauoooh....

Ren: Well, tough guy?

Stimpy: [frustation] I'll do it!

Ren: Alright.

Stimpy: You promise?

Ren: YES? Let's get this OVER with.

Stimpy: Crazy! [hits the newspaper at Ren]

Ren: WHA!? [It's "Sammy Kazootie," a Little Mantid Book. In deleted scene, Ren angrily yells while red-faced] Sammy, Sammy, Sammy! [calms down] No. I'm not going to reinforce this steupid obsession of yours.

Stimpy: But Ren, you PROMISED! [tears off] Well, you did.

Ren: Why sure it is, pal. [Stimpy was excited, Ren reads the book] Once upon a time, handsome prince Sammy bit the evil snow queen heads off. The end.

Stimpy: [shocked, sad] That's not the whole story!

Ren: It is now. [throws the book in to a burning fireplace] Good night, eediot. [Stimpy was very sad]

[Fades in the morning, Ren was sleeping on the bed, Ren saws a note "To my second best friend Ren I went to find Sammy Love Stimpy. P.S. I forgive you. Ren throws the pillow to the openfire. Ren was sleeping. Fades to Power Records and the crowds and featuring Stimpy. Hollywood Car stops, Sammy Mantis pops out.]

Stimpy: SAMMY!

[The people are cheering and meets Sammy Mantis.]

Sammy Mantis: Hey guys, HEY! Please kids, you're gonna rip my sheet, this is not... too bad, but look, I'm outta here man.

[Sammy Mantis comes in the Hollywood Car and drives off and Stimpy are on the Hollywood Car. Fades to Sammyville. Stimpy looks around and grabs the trash can and runs for it, Fades to Ren and Stimpy's House, Cuts to Stimpy's Room, All lots of Sammy Stuffs appearing in Stimpy's Room, Stimpy goes out to see the viewers, Stimpy was giggling, Stimpy goes in. Cuts that night, Sammyville are arrived. Stimpy looks around and he's tip-toeing and seeking the window and see the insect friends.]

Stimpy: [offscreen] Sammy's having a party. Oh, look at all the beautiful people. Hey, it's Jerry Beetle. A-and Dean Mayfly. Ooh, Pete Locust!

Stimpy: WOW! [wipes his nose on the window and cover his ears, screams like a girl, offscreen] Liberoache!

Stimpy: [surprised and points at Sammy happily] Oh... Oh! Oh! It's, It's, It's, HIM! OH!

Liberoache: How about a little doodle that, Sammy? [chuckles]

Joey: [offscreen] Oh come on, Sammy. Come along and give me some song.

Roachmen: [offscreen] Come on, Sammy! DO IT!

Stimpy: SAMMY! [screams happily]

Sammy Mantis: Kow, kow, kow-kow-kachow! [singing] Who can say your prayers? When it's eating lunch. [crunch] And you'd better believe that I'm munchin', man...

Stimpy: Ohhh Sammy! [slowly faints in love]

Sammy Mantis: [singing] The mantid man can, the mantid man can. The mantid man can when he bite down on your skull, and sucks out all your brains, and MMM it tastes good. Who can eat his siblings? And his mom and dad! The mantid man! The mantid man can! The mantid man can! The mantid man can when he bites [crunch] down on your skull and suck out all your brains, and MMM, it is yummy man. MMM-mmm-mmm. I'm munchin'.

Joey: [offscreen] Can I join?

Roachmen: [offscreen] Aww, shut up, Joey.

Stimpy: [dizzy] Ohhhh... what happened? [panicking in a high voice] SAMMY! [runs offscreen with stars and stars fall out, Stimpy looks at the window] Awww, I missed my song. [tears off]

Liberoache: Oh, Sammy. I have a little favor if you ask of you. You know, I... I've always dreamed you bite my head off.

Roachmen: [offscreen] You'll bite off his head.

Joey: [offscreen] Come on, chew his head off.

Sammy Mantis: Well, okay men. If you exist me. [Sammy Mantis was biting Liberoache's head off.]

Liberoache: I wish my brother GEORGE WAS HERE!!! [laughs maniacally, Sammy Mantis swallows Liberoache's head and Stimpy was looking, Stimpy started to risk his hands]

Stimpy: Lucky! Lucky! Lucky! [doing a sad walk] Gosh, I wish Sammy are not on my head off. [Sammy Mantis jumps off and stops at Stimpy, Stimpy was famous about Sammy Mantis.]

Sammy Mantis: Hey man, I've got my eye on you. Weren't you at my signing, man?

Stimpy: [gasps] Why yes. I'm your biggest fan! I have ALL your excel skeletons. [smiles goofy]

Sammy Mantis: Listen cat, what like did you have to cut my property and steal my dead skin?

Stimpy: [sad] Gee whiz. All I wanted to do was meet you. [sobbing] You're my idol! [crying and bawling, Sammy Mantis looks at the viewers]

Sammy Mantis: Say babe, how would you like me to bite YOUR head off?

Stimpy: [excited] Oh, it's too much to hope for! It's like a dream come true.

Sammy Mantis: I got you, bab. [singing] Who can eat his siblings?

Stimpy: [singing] And his mom and dad? YEAH!

Sammy Mantis and Stimpy: [singing] The mantid man! The mantid man can! The mantid man can! The mantid man can when he BITES down on your skull! AND SUCK MY OUT ALL YOUR-  [Sammy Mantis bites Stimpy's head off.]

Stimpy: BRAINS!! [screaming while being bitten up] OWW IT FEELS SO GOOOO-O-O-O-O-O-O-OD!!!!!

[Fades to Ren and Stimpy's House, Cuts to Ren.]

Ren: Goodnight, Stimpy.

Stimpy: [Stimpy has the glass eye on his head, with only his broken-teeth mouth remaining] Goonigh, Reh.

[The iris stops at Stimpy a few seconds, The iris closing completely at the end of the episode.]

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