Episode: I Love Chicken
[The episode begins, Ren kicks the door with his feet.]
Ren: Stimpy, I'm home.
[Stimpy zips in.]
Stimpy: Oh joy!
[Stimpy flops to see Ren.]
Stimpy: I brought you your slippers. Here comes your pipe.
[Stimpy puts the pipe in Ren's mouth.]
Ren: Did ya clean the apartment?
Stimpy: Yes sir!
Ren: Iron my BVDs?
Stimpy: Yuh-huh!
Ren: GOOD! Now get in the kitchen and fix my dinner.
Stimpy: Okey dokey!
[Stimpy runs through the kitchen with the grocery bags and Stimpy throws the food out of grocery bag.]
Stimpy: Throw, Throw, Toss, Pitch, Chuck, Throw... OH!! Look at this young fresh lovely plump chicken! Aren't you just the cat's B.O.
[Stimpy was searching for cooking book.]
Stimpy: Hmm.. What will we do with you? [Gasps] OH! Does that look nice. Step 1...
[Stimpy rubs the chicken.]
Stimpy: Some vigorous tenderization,
[Stimpy puts the chicken on a pan and put butter on the chicken.]
Stimpy: Butter,
[Stimpy squirts the oil on chicken with turkey baster.]
Stimpy: Baste, There now. A prettier bird there never was.
[Chicken grabs Stimpy's hand, Stimpy looks at the Chicken whom was happy. Stimpy falls in loves with the chicken, Stimpy's eyes turn into hearts. Stimpy spins around happily with the chicken. Ren, reading a newspaper, stops at the door and when he opens it, he sees that Stimpy was kissing with Chicken.]
Ren: Hey! Where the heck is my...
[Ren stops, flabbergasted. Stimpy, embracing Chicken, cluelessly looks at Ren with chicken grease on his mouth. Ren shuts the door.]
Ren: (aghast) My... my chicken!
[Ren angrily kicks the door with his feet and he points at Stimpy.]
Ren: (growls) MY CHICKEN AND MY BEST FRIEND!!!
[Stimpy and Chicken was looking at Ren.]
Ren: Skulkers in the dark! Did you think I wouldn't notice!? The stuffing on your collar at night? The drippings on the carpet? The gravy on the couch?
[Ren has a plate and fork and spoon with Ren's hands and pounds hardly.]
Ren: I WANT MY CHICKEN DINNER, AND I WANT IT NOW!
[Stimpy crawls up at Ren.]
Stimpy: Ren, how can you be so insensitive!? You're talking about the chicken I love!
[A close up at Chicken, then it hears a ding sound. Cuts to Stimpy.]
Stimpy: [lovely] And I want to spend the rest of my life with Chicken.
Ren: (surprised) Huh?
Stimpy: And I've consented to... give my hand in... marriage.
Ren: [shocked] MARRIAGE!??
[Stimpy chuckles lovely and put his ring on his finger.]
Stimpy: [deleted scene] Oh, I know what you're thinking, you're worrying about the dowry. Well, worry not.
[Ren's eyes are wide and full of shock.]
Stimpy: Fresh corn bread stuffing.
[Stimpy puts Fresh corn bread stuffing on the table.]
Stimpy: And a dribbling side of giblets.
[Stimpy puts giblets on corn bread stuffing and Ren has about to puke and he totally disgusting and he push away for Fresh corn bread of stuffing with Giblets, end of Deleted scene.]
Stimpy: And now, my love, let us off to Vegas and be married this very night.
[ Chicken carries Stimpy out the window onto a ladder.]
Stimpy: Bye, Ren!
[They exit leaving Ren, still sitting with a knife and fork, literally frozen speechless. Crashing sound effect . a timecard says "2 weeks later". Chicken opens the door carrying Stimpy. They are both wearing a bridal gown and tux.]
Stimpy: We're home from our honeymoon! Put me down, silly.
[Chicken drops Stimpy.]
Stimpy: Ren!
Ren: (offscreen) In the kitchen!
[Stimpy meets Ren at the kitchen. Ren, is still at the exact spot we left him, knife and fork and all.]
Stimpy: Well, we're back!
Ren: (impatient) I'm still waiting for you to fix my chicken dinner!
Stimpy: Well, it was kind of a long drive, and we're kinda tired. We'll see you in the morning.
[Stimpy slams the door, Ren's face turns red with anger. That night, Stimpy's asleep with his chicken and Ren, who plots. Ren looks at Chicken and he grabs Chicken. He places football in her place. In the kitchen, Chicken is in a pot gagged and tied up while Ren chops a carrot and sings:]
Ren: [singing] Mama's little baby love's shortnin', shortnin', Mama's little baby loves shortnin' bread.
[In the deleted scene, Stimpy was smelling chicken.]
Stimpy: Mmmm, something smells good. Hungry, my little meaty pie?
[Cuts to football on his bed, Cuts to Stimpy.]
Stimpy: MMM-mmm-mmm. Isn't that cute. Sleeping like a lamb. Hmm, I wonder what Ren's cooking.
[Stimpy enters kitchen. Ren adjust dials on oven]
Stimpy: Hey, Ren. Fixing a little midnight snack-y?
Ren: Yes I am!
Stimpy: Whatcha' got in there? Hmmm... [then it hits him!]
[Stimpy scurries to the bed, he moves the bedsheets only to find the football instead of Chicken.]
Stimpy: [gasp]
(Realization mounting more, Stimpy scurries back to the oven and sees Chicken, burning to a crisp. Realization at its highest, Stimpy scurries looks at football on his bed again. Stimpy scurries back to the oven.)
Stimpy: AH! CHICKEEEEEN!!!
[Stimpy gets the burnt chicken out of the oven.]
Stimpy: Ohhh, my poor little baby!
[Close-up to the poor burning chicken, Cuts to Ren, Stimpy and his chicken. Ren smells chicken.]
Ren: It's done, let's eat!
Stimpy: What is wrong with you?
Ren: uh, uh, uh, I'm hungry.
Stimpy: Well, in the future when you're hungry, I'll thank you not to cook my wife!
[Ren is surprised. Stimpy walks off.]
Ren:(vengeful) Oooh, I'm gonna get that chicken!
[Fade to Ren and Chicken reading their newspapers in the living room.]
Stimpy: [singing] Here comes the slippers, Do do do do do!
Ren: Oh boy!
[Stimpy will put on his shoes on Chicken's feet.]
Stimpy: I'm bringing your fez. There, why, it almost makes you look like you have a head.
[Ren looks at Stimpy and he zooms off.]
Stimpy: Your nice pipey-wipey! There you go.
[Newspaper falls out and Pineapple appeared, Stimpy looks at the pineapple and started panicking.]
Stimpy: CHICKEN!!!
[Stimpy opens the door.]
Stimpy: Chicken!
[Stimpy was having a wide eyes and Ren will knock Chicken on the Sausage maker.]
Ren: Hahahahahahahahahaha! Grinderly, grinderly, grinderly... [evil chuckles, laughs maniacally]
[Stimpy will lay on Chicken Sausages.]
Stimpy: Ohhh, you poor baby.
[Stimpy was angry at Ren and he slaps Ren and he slaps softly left to right.]
Stimpy: Now, have you come to your senses or are you still so BLIND that you can't see our relationship for what it is?
[Stimpy will hold Chicken sausages.]
Stimpy: Well, let me spell it out for you....
[Handwriting was typing "MISTER" on the upper right corner.]
Stimpy: Mister.
[Stimpy hugs and rubs on Chicken Sausages.]
Stimpy: I love Chicken, and Chicken loves me. And we do not abide coveters. HMPH!
[Stimpy walks off, Ren was upset and he is holding a fork with two hands.]
Ren: But, what about my... sausage?
[Ren becomes sad. Fades to Chicken Sausages.]
Stimpy: There now. All better. You know, I like your new look. So firm and tightly packed!
[Ren overhears Stimpy's voice.]
Stimpy: [offscreen] Yup! You are my I-deal. Sugar lumps.
[Ren becomes disappointed and sad and he begins to cry. Stimpy hears Ren crying and he looks at Ren and tries to comfort him.]
Stimpy: Ren, what's wrong?
Ren: [sniffs] It's... just that I... I... I missed you! [crying] You and I used to do everything together. But now that it's you and the CHICKEN! And there's no room for ME! [bawling]
Stimpy: So that's how it is, huh? You are so silly. Now dry those tears and listen to me, Ren Hoek. You're still my best friend.
Ren: Really? [sniffs]
Stimpy: Yep. I know. Let's go, just you and me. Just like the old days.
Ren: Just you and... me? Could we.... could we... could we go on a picnic?
Stimpy: Why sure.
[At the picnic.]
Ren: Well, here we are. I will spread out the blanket!
Stimpy: Save me a pickle!
Ren: I forgot the ketchup! Be right back!
[A car drives off.]
Stimpy: Okay.
[Stimpy was waiting for the picnic, and fades to night and fades to the door.]
Stimpy: [offscreen] Goodbye! Thanks for the ride!
[Stimpy opens the door.]
Stimpy: [sing-a-song voice] Ren, I'm home. I got tired of waiting. Don't bother with the keeetchup…
[Stimpy looks at Ren eating chicken sausages.]
Stimpy: Ren, what are you eating?
Ren: I was eating some dee-licious chicken sausages.
[Ren picks his teeth with a toothpick. As Stimpy slowly realizes what happened, the camera zooms in on his devastated face. Stimpy jumps in bed, crying in his pillow as he kicks his legs. The timecard says "6 months later". Ren opens the door.]
Ren: Stimpy?
[Close-up to Stimpy lying down to bed, and cuts to Ren.]
Ren: I... I'm sorry I ate your chicken. It... It wasn't even that good. I got bad gas. [smiles]
[Stimpy was sad. Ren sees Stimpy.]
Ren: Look, I'm getting just a little sick of this bereaved chicken widow crap! Now get your fanny in the kitchen, unpack the groceries and cook me some dinner!
Stimpy: [dopey] Yes, master.
[Stimpy gets off the bed of sadness. He walks slowly by sadness to grocery bags. He throws his food away for grocery bag.]
Stimpy: Toss... throw... chuck... pitch... throw....
[Stimpy holds a pig head and looks at goat head. Close-up to goat head. Cuts to Stimpy, he is so loved and the eyes are wide as a lovely child. Cuts to Ren reading the magazine.]
Ren: Hmm boy. I can't wait for that goat head stew.
Stimpy: [offscreen] HEY, REN!
[Ren looks at Stimpy.]
Ren: Huh?
[Stimpy is wearing a bridal gown, holding the goat head, which is wearing a top hat, while waving bouquet of flowers.]
Stimpy: I-I-I'm engaged!
Ren: [screams]
[Ren was holding a hat down on his head angrily, The iris stop at him a few seconds and 1 second later, the iris is closing completely at the end of the episode.]