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Episode: Double Header
Double Header

[The episode begins with Ren and Stimpy at Bus Depot]

Ren: Farther... farther! Come on, man! Don't you have anything farther?

Bus Depot Guy: (mumbling) Well, let's see, first we got this here small red dot...

[Ren looks over at Stimpy, who farts]

Ren: Farther!

Bus Depot Guy: You know, you bend over backwards for...

[The planet was pointing a star for Ursa Minor.]

Bus Depot Guy: That's as far as she goes.

Ren: Okay, we're all set. Let's go!

[Ren and Stimpy will go out of Bus Depot.]

Stimpy: Where are we going, Ren?

Ren: Oh no, it's not we... (inhales, cute voice) it's you!

Stimpy: But--but, Ren...

Ren: No buts. This trip's on me. Well, see ya around, pal.

[Ren was walking over and Stimpy got a One way ticket to URSA MINOR and he jumps at Ren and Ren looks at Stimpy looks sad.]

Stimpy: But I don't wanna go to Ursa Minor! What did I do wrong?

[Ren was twitching his eye, and begins flashback the episodes, Stimpy farts on this episode "Son of Stimpy", Invisible Razor shaves a Ren on this episode "Stimpy's Invention", Ren shows Stimpy's three butts on this episode "Ren's Bitter Half", Stimpy will put on the happy helmet on Ren's head on this episode "Stimpy's Invention", Stimpy barfs hairballs at Ren on this episode "A Visit of Anthony" and Stimpy blubbers crazily on this episode "Sven Hoek", end of flashback.]

Ren: Well, I just don't like you.

Stimpy: But I love you! Please, please, take me back! Please... (whimpering)

Ren: Let me put this in layman's terms... I don't ever want to see you again!

[The URSA MINOR bus drives, he honks then Ren was shocked and he stops, Ren and Stimpy looks he drives over at Ren and Stimpy, Bus driver came over.]

Bus driver: Someone get a plastic bag!

[Ren and Stimpy's side are in the middle of the bus then police, kid and the women fully shocked and women screams and he takes a pictures at Ren and Stimpy and the screen turns black. He opens his eyes at see the doctor and nurse.]

Ren: (gasps) Wha--what?

Doctor: Krankenschwester! Schnell, schnell!

[Nurse smacks at Ren and the screen turns black once again. He opens his eyes completely and sees the doctor.]

Doctor: Well, the damage was quite extensive, and we were in surgery for 46 hours. Even though there wasn't much to work with, we wound up with a few extra parts.

[Doctor sees a heart on a box.]

Doctor: But, you won't need these. But remember, the important thing is, you are alive, and you have each other!

Stimpy: That's right, Ren, we do have each other!

[Ren was sweating with Stimpy's hand and he looks scared. At the Discound Hospital, a taxi drives on and Ren and Stimpy has two parts.]

Doctor: At least you have each other. Each other. Each other.

[Ren and Stimpy has a double header. Fades the clock, Stimpy snores at Ren. And the clock rings and Stimpy wakes up.]

Stimpy: Oh joy! It's time for my favorite show, Stomper Room. Ready for some stomping, Ren?

Ren: (weakly) Ready...

[Stimpy turns on a TV.]

News Announcer: Meteor showers are reported lately--

Narrator: Hey kids, it's 4 in the morning! And you know what time that is...

Kids and Stimpy: It's stomping time!

[Stimpy was stomping with Ren.]

Ren: [snores] Sleeping... time.

Stimpy: Nothing like stomping to start your Sunday.

Ren: Sunday?! I've gotta get to work!

[Ren runs repeatly on Stimpy's body.]

Ren: Hold it! I can't go to work like this. Hmmm...

[At the Area 21, Ren was having a card and having a mid-air and the boss goes on.]

Boss: Do you know what time it is?!

Stimpy: Stomping time?

Boss: You're late again, Hoke!

Stimpy: That's Ho-ek!

Boss: What was that?!

[Ren pretends to cough, producing a similar sound to "hoek".]

[Ren was showing a boss's teeth.]

Ren: (nervously) Heh, you have very delicate features for a man.

Boss: Don't patronize me, Hoke! Now get to work...

[Ren runs off, then Red Light, Ren will push the lever, and then Green Light, Ren was pull the lever, Tonic will put it in a rocket repeatedly. Stimpy will pop out.]

Stimpy: Wow. This is where you work?

Ren: Yep, top secret stuff, "top secret". I don't even know what's going on. You see, when that light turns green, I pull this lever.

Stimpy: Let me try.

Ren: Hey, hey, hey! Stand back! You're not authorized! Besides, you've gotta have a degree in leverage. I didn't go to 13 years of night school for nothing.

[The whistle blows.]

Ren: 10 second break!

[Ren and Stimpy was waiting and Stimpy looks at the lever and the lever sparkles, Stimpy was having a bloodshot eyes and he pulls the lever. Ren has fully shocked and then Tonic falls down on the ground, Cuts to Ren.]

Ren: (panicking) RED LIGHT!

[The Area 21 are fully explodes into the million pieces, and Ren and Stimpy was bombed and the Boss came on Ren and Stimpy with a weird face and the nose pops out.]

Boss: (sputtering) You... you... you're... f--f... [took five spits and coughs his teeth out] fired!

[He spoke the last words with his tongue out and he looks at Ren and Stimpy has double header.]

Boss: (sputtering) You... you... freak!

[Boss has a skeleton's teeth and also fingers too.]

Boss: (pants) There's only one place for your kind!

[Boss's finger will fall off and fades to Freaks Wanted.]

Salesman: So, what qualifications do you have?

Ren: Open your eyes, man! We're connected, you eediot! [Stimpy nods] Two heads, two different species, we're freak material! [Stimpy nods]

Salesman: That's nothing special. Take a load of this!

[Salesman has a baby on his belly button.]

Salesman: Now that's freaky.

[Ren and Stimpy looks at Saleman's belly button, Stimpy inhales three times and he took inhales longer and Ren shocked and Stimpy closes his mouth and Ren he burps out of Chicken heads and Ren feels dizzy, Cuts to Salesman.]

Salesman: Hey, not bad. Hmmm... You know, you guys look like a couple of GEEKS to me!

Stimpy: [gasps] We're geeks!

Ren: Oh yeah? What does it pay?

Salesman: Oh, we're union.

[Salesman was searching for his stuffs.]

Salesman: All the chickenheads you can eat!

[Salesman was handing two chickenheads and the comet was zooming ahead.]

[At the circus, Ren and Stimpy are in a SIAMESE GEEKS]

Crowd: Oooh! Ahhh!

[Stimpy was eating chickenhead and Ren was really angry.]

Ren: What are you gawking at?! Don't you people have lives?!

[People screaming, leaving the circus.]

Ren: [tears up] I know what you want... I'll give you what you wanna see! I'm eating! [bites an chicken head] There, are you happy now? You wanna see it? Huh?!

[People comes back inside and starts laughing.]

Salesman: You guys are great! Take a lunch break.

[Ren was bored.]

Stimpy: Chow down, Ren. Remember, you're eating for two now.

[Stimpy was eating chickenhead, Ren looks at man with two side mouth and two side mouth was eating a sub. Ren looks at worm.]

Worm: Uh, excuse me, uh, you gonna eat that egg?

[Worm eats the egg on it's body and Ren was look shocked at Stimpy chews his chickenhead and he swallows it.]

Stimpy: Hey Ren, isn't it fun to be a... [low creep voice] freak?

[Ren becomes scared, hearing the people saying freak. Ren is sweaty but furious, then he stand up loudly.]

Ren: I'm no freak! You're the freak! This was your idea! I'm just your average guy. I don't deserve to be in the company of the likes of you.

Stimpy: Uh, Ren, you're freaking out.

Ren: Freaking out? [laughs maniacally] I'm freaking out!

[Two freaks are looking at Ren and Ren was giggling crazilly and laughs maniacally and then Stimpy slaps at Ren.]

Stimpy: Pull yourself together, boy! Look at us. Haven't we got a tent over our heads? A nice cold cage to sleep in? You should be thankful.

Ren: [sniffs] I tried so hard to be good. [sobs]

Stimpy: There, there, Ren. Have a chickenhead!

[Stimpy will put chickenhead on Ren's mouth.]

Stimpy: Shhh!

Ren: Thank you... you've been so kind. [smiles] Well... [sniffs] it can't get any worse than this.

[Stimpy nods and the URSA MINOR comet are zooming down the circus at Ren and Stimpy, Three freaks are looking at Ren and Stimpy.]

Small head freak: Dah, what a freak accident!

[He takes a picture at Ren and Stimpy and screen turns black. Fades to Stimpy on a hospital bed.]

Doctor: Well, this time, the damage was much more extensive. And we had even less to work with.

Stimpy: W... what about Ren?

Ren: Here, you eediot!

[Stimpy was looking Ren has a face on Stimpy's back side and he smiles at Ren.]

Ren: My face is killing me!

Doctor: But the important thing is, you're alive, and you have each other. Have some lunch.

Stimpy: My favorite! Barbecued Boston baked beans!

[Ren was shocked and he scared shivering and the iris is closing completely and then The iris was shaking at Ren and heard a fart sound and then iris is closing at the end of the episode.]

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