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Episode: Dog Tags
Dog Tags

[The episode begins at Ren and Stimpy's house.]

Ren: Hey Stimpy, hurry up with my shoes! I'm gonna be late for the meeting!

Stimpy: SHOES! Here you go, Ren! I'm poundishment for ya!

[Ren will put on Dog's shoes.]

Ren: Now go get the hat.

[Stimpy runs offscreen and Stimpy runs onscreen with his hat.]

Stimpy: HAT!

Ren: Thank you.

[Ren will put on Dog's head.]

Stimpy: Wow, Ren! You look so meekle. Wait here, I'll get the last item. Here it is, Ren. Your afashile gavel for the benevolent order of the dog bone eaters.

Ren: That's it then. I must have to my dog lodge meal.

Stimpy: Hey Ren, please can I going to you dog love me? PLEASE PLEASE! HUH, CAN I, CAN I, HUH!? I WANNA DO SECRET DOG THINGS WITH YOU! OH PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE!!! PLEEEEEEEEEEASE!!!!!!!!!!

[Ren bonks his hammer at Stimpy.]

Ren: NO! You've been asking me that same question every week for 53 years. They don't allow cats! You'll never make a pass the security the door.

Stimpy: I can pretend to be a dog. I know how to be dog like. [begging] I'll fool him! Oh please, let me go. Oh, please.

Ren: Oh, alright. Go on. Make a fool outta yourself.

Stimpy: [screams happily and runs offscreen]

Ren: You don't say I didn't warn ya.

[Stimpy was looking U.S.D.A. Choice Hamburger.]

Ren: Hurry up in there!

Stimpy: [offscreen] Almost ready! Okay!

[Stimpy was put Hamburger Dog on his head.]

Stimpy: How do I look?

[Close-up that hamburger was melted, Fades the Dog Bone Eaters station. Ren stopped walking. Stimpy was sniffing like a dog and runs and barks.]

Ren: NOW CUT THAT OUT! [Stimpy stops] Now remember, you're not together, and never get in, and It don't get eating, don't remind the meat bowl. I... don't... know you!

Dog: Weather wax.

[Dog goes in the station. Walrus was about to go in. Bulldog halts.]

Gray Dog: Hold it! Well, what have we here?

Bulldog: A sabertooth dog?

Gray Dog: [offscreen] GET LOST!

[Gray Dog kicks the Walrus out of the station.]

Bulldog: [offscreen] You don't need a dog around here!

[Gray Dog looks at Stimpy.]

Stimpy: Duh, bark bark! WOOF WOOF! MMRAAOW!!

Gray Dog: Hmmm... [Bulldog nods "yes"] Okay, you're cool. Go right on in.

Stimpy: [screams happily, runs to the station]

Ren: [confusion and walks to the station] How's it going guys?

Gray Dog: And just what are you supposed to be? A mosquito?

Bulldog: Duhh, that's not mosquito. That's a Rat faced rodents! [Bulldog and Gray Dog laughs]

Ren: HEY! I'm a dog! Hey, I know the password. Weather wax, man. Weather wax.

Bulldog: Can't you read?

[The sign says "NO MOSQUITOES, RAT FACED RODENTS!"]

Ren: Come on! You guys just let the cat in here!

Gray Dog: Are you say I don't know a CAT where I see one? I know a cat I see one. [Bulldog nods "yes"] I know one thing for sure. YOU AIN'T NO DOG!

Ren: What do you mean I'm not a dog? I've got tax to prove it! SEE!?

[Gray Dog looks at the Ren Hoek Dog-license EXPIRED.]

Gray Dog: That don't look anything like you.

Bulldog: Yeah, it's expired anyway.

Ren: Alright, I can prove to be a dog. Chihuahuas are the natural bone airdoggers. Just watch.

[Ren looks and points to deer peeing the zip up his skin and looks Ren and Deer was angry and he points at Ren.]

Deer: RAT! 

Gray Dog: [offscreen] KILL IT! KILL IT!

[Deer throw a rock at Ren and Deer flies away.]

Bulldog: Hunting does not prove nothing. You have to performing the test if you want it to go to the lodge.

Ren: Okay, just hurry it up. I've gotta get back Stimpy before the terrible shreds.

[Stimpy was playing Pinata.]

Dog: Here ya go, little buddy. Go for it. WOOF!

[Stimpy will knockout the pinata and have a whole bunch of bones on it.]

Stimpy: I just love dog games!

[Car is driving the street. Ren chases the car. Cuts to Bulldog and Gray Dog, Crashing sound effect heards offscreen. Cuts to Ren was driven up to Car.]

Ren: There, how's that? Can I get in now?

Gray Dog: Huh! Everybody can chase the car. A real dog could hot wire one.

[Ren was fixing the car.]

Ren: Fixing the car. Steupid, dog club.

[Ren was fixing the wire and the car was fixed.]

Ren: There you go! He's purring like a...

[Ren looks at the police at the police car.]

Ren: Cop.

[Ren's ears droops down.]

Bulldog: What do wherever happened to that Rat Faced Rodent.

Gray Dog: Isn't that him?

Ren: [have big ball with chain and jail clothes] Alright, what's next?

Gray Dog: I know, we [whispers]

Bulldog: [laughs]

Gray Dog: Okay, okay, I got it! If you're a real dog, you could... marry a millionaire!

[Ren walks offscreen, fades to airplane. Ren was hanging wilth Millionaire.]

Ren: I think I'll go outta my nose, dear. [walks off]

Mayor: Gonna be waiting for you, shmargums, honey buns. Heh heh.

[Mayor falls out the chair, Ren runs for the airplane, random sound effects is hearding offscreen. Pilot flys away the airplane and airplane fly. Fades to the #1 Dog award for Stimpy and Dog but on Stimpy's head.]

Stimpy: Alright boys, flap on!

[Dog, Stimpy and his friends are doing a conga with his hammer.]

Gray Dog: Do ya hear that? That's a syramony conga hying sticking days.

Bulldog: Yeah. There must been crowd for new high drop the bonehead.

Gray Dog: Okay, you watered the fire plug, shampoo like a dog, or the beard of fleas, at the pyramid, bitten the president, premoning the syramony manice pericing, borrow a couple of homeless sock!

[Scotsman hits Ren's head, Fades Gray Dog, Bulldog and Ren.]

Bulldog: There's only one chance left to prove once and for all that you are a dog.

Gray Dog: To get into the lodge, you must... clean yourself in public. Like the other expecting dog.

[Ren was looking at the audiences and man coughing, Ren was thinking, Ren looks at it again, and cricket chirping. Ren was about to lick it and he licked it and he stops.]

Ren: I can't take it up soony kids! I'm not a dog! I'm the mosquito. [sobs]

[Ren walks off the stage. Fades to city, Ren was ties the rope.]

Ren: This is the answer. That's right. The only answer. I've been abandon... by my own... eediot. Rejected by the own kind. My very DOG is DENIED me. There's nothing meeting to do. But end it all.

[Car stops at Ren.]

Stimpy: Hey. Is that, REJECT BAND!!!!!! NOOOOOOO!!!!!! [hugs Ren] Don't ever scare me like that again!

Ren: LET ME GO! Everyone away from me! [sobbing] I've nothing else to live for. GO ON! GO with your own friends! Don't let me hold you back. [sobbing]

Stimpy: Gosh, Ren. Don't you know.... I'm only wanted to join you a lodge like a beauty of you.

[Stimpy smiles and Ren gives Stimpy a hug.]

Ren: But Stimpy, what do we do for earnal Kemerity.

Stimpy: [thinking] IDEA!

[Cats, Stimpy and Ren was having beers.]

Cats, Stimpy and Ren: [singing] Ohhhh, in all the cats are smiling and the dogs are limbable! Oh litter box, It's the silening for the wrath of all the crowds!

[Cats, Stimpy and Ren are having a beer cheers. Ren and Stimpy was licking the butter milk. The two iris was closing completely at the end of the episode.]

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