Episode: Big Baby Scam
Big Baby Scam

[The episode begins at Mr. and Mrs. Pipe's house, Ren and Stimpy was eating a log on top of the tree. Ren looks at it, gasps excitedly.]

Ren: Look Stimpy, now there's the life. [Two naked babies are in the house, playing baby stuffs]

Stimpy: Aww, look at the cute little babies.

Ren: Cute for nothing. There deadbeats. Baby is the world's easiest life. People feed her, the clother.. they carry everywhere they go, and expected nothing to return. Why, I heartell.... that they don't even have to wipe themselves.

Stimpy: No.

Ren: Yes. [looks at two babies]

[Two babies was talking gibberish and looks at Ren and Stimpy. Baby was drooling.]

Ren: Alright, drop the act. I got my propersition for him. [Baby look at other two, Ren selects the dollar] I'll give you $50. If the 2 of you found the perfect vacation. [Baby grabs his $50]

Baby: Outta the way, Jackson! You're holding up a parade! [Baby 2 was selected dollars.] So long, chumps.


Ren: [push the Baby #2] Ahh, hit the road! [Baby #2 falls down and crash the ground. Fade to Ren and Stimpy as two babies and Stimpy sucks the milk bottles and Ren was suck the pacifier and spits out.]

Ren: You know Stimpy, This is the best scam yet. I'm telling ya. We got a fame!

Mrs. Pipe: [offscreen] Poopy time! [humming] [Ren and Stimpy looks at Mrs. Pipe and Ren and Stimpy pretends to be a baby.] My babies. [Ren was rolling back and forth and gibberish.] Have we made poopies? [Mrs. Pipe puts to Ren's legs up. And it has no poopies.] Hmm... No poopies? Well, we don't tell Dad this time. But next time, we wanna see poopies. Well, let's see John did anything. [Stimpy has full of poopies in the diaper.] Oh my! What a good boy! [Mrs. Pipe will put the poopie diaper in the collection.]

Stimpy: Ah-h-hem! [points to the Poopie Diaper Collection.]

Mrs. Pipe: How wonderful! You're probably be so proud. Yes, you are my little stinky bear. [Mrs. Pipe pours the baby powder on Stimpy's butt, Ren looks at Stimpy and tears off. Mrs. Pipe puts the Stimpy down to the baby cell.]

Ren: MOMMA ALWAYS LOVE YOU BEST! [Ren bonks a big milk bottle at Stimpy and throws the big milk bottle away and breaks it offscreen. Fades to the window. Ren was squeezing bear's nose and pulls his nose out. He spits the bear's nose. Ren looks at the bear and gets frustrated. Ren looks at Mr. Pipe.]

Mr. Pipe: Honey, I'm home! [Stimpy was sleeping like a baby, Mr. Pipe put the hat and Rubber Nipple at the pole] Where are my big boys? Ahhh, here they are! [Ren and Stimpy was talking gibberish like a baby] Hey tiger, what's your name? [Mr. Pipe tickles Stimpy]

Mrs. Pipe: [sighs] Isn't John adorable? He looks just like you.

Mr. Pipe: Yeah, he sure does. But I still can't believe that I like to talk me in the guest-living of that name. Now Eugene, there's boys name. Hey, tough guy! THINK FAST! See those reflexes, huh? And a grip to match. [Ren squeezing a grip at Mr. Pipe's finger, Mr. Pipe was a boxing match at Ren (as a baby).] Yeah, you can be a tough guy. That's right. Yeah, you gotta fight your friends. You can be skillivated. And even a bully, huh? Just like your grandpa.

Mrs. Pipe: I won't have that men this spoken for the next house.

Mr. Pipe: Okay, honey. That's important to him. Give me a daddy a big ol' hug. [Mr. Pipe will scratching his head at Ren. In deleted scene, extreme zoom-up, Mr. Pipe will scratching his head down at Ren in slow motion. [Mrs. Pipe was brooming the walls and humming] Honey, I think it's time to tell boys to walk.

Mrs. Pipe: Oh, honey. I think it's too soon.

Mr. Pipe: Come on, hon. They can't hide under the skirt forever.

[Ren and Stimpy are scared and goes on Mrs. Pipe's legs.]

Mrs. Pipe: Okay, if that boy is gone reckless, we'll know how to play.

Mr. Pipe: Go on, boys! Go on! Come to daddy! [Ren was about to walk] That's it, don't be afraid. [Ren was running and Stimpy was running like a baby]

Mrs. Pipe: That's amazing! They learn so fast.

Mr. Pipe: Hmm.. They need something more challenging. [The couch will move to lava floor. Ren and Stimpy was looking at the lava floor. Ren will push Stimpy.]

Mrs. Pipe: Now honey, I think that is a little too early.

Mr. Pipe: Yeah, I guess you're right. [The couch are going back to the living room. Ren and Stimpy was so relieved.] Hey Eugene, let's play your favorite game. [Mr. Pipe was holding Ren and goes higher] One, two, UPSIE DAISY! UPSIE DAISY! UPSI- [crash] Eh.. oh. [Ren was on the wall.] Look hon. I told you it has Grandpa's grip.

Mrs. Pipe: That's quite enough, rough housing. It's time for our family bath.

Mr. Pipe: Oh boy! Bathtime! [Mr. Pipe puts off his shirt towel, Stimpy looks at Mr. Pipe, Stimpy was surprised. In deleted scene, fades to Mr., Mrs. Pipe, Ren and Stimpy are on a family bath.]

Mrs. Pipe: Honey, this is nice. This is a family was about. [The bath bubbles are bubbling] Honey?

Mr. Pipe: YUP! There's nothing like a hot bath to sattle one disgestene. [The police officer presses the doorbell and heard a bonk sound effect.] Hmm... I'll hold the boys right at the door. [Old Man Hunger grabs Ren and Stimpy and he whistles. Cuts to Police officer and Mr. Pipe and covers up with his mailbox.] What can I do for you, Officer? [Mailbox was opened.]

Police Officer: We found those boys hanging out at the track. [Baby waves at Mr. Pipe] They claim to be yours.

Mr. Pipe: There must be some kind of mistake, Officer. My boys are safe the bathtub with your Mom and Grandpa. [Ren and Stimpy was tip-toeing to the left. Ren and Stimpy looks at Two bank babies.]

Ren: Hey, you two! You ruined our cover! I WANT MY 50 BACK! Come on! Give it to me! [Two babies gots the idea.]

Baby #2: Oh, you want 50? [Baby #2 was holding Ren's hand]

Ren: Hey! What are you doing!? [Ren was about to pull out to baby's hands] Lemme go!

Baby: YA WANT 50!? I'LL GIVE YOU 50!! [risked his arm, Baby punches Ren] ONE! [punch] TWO! [Cuts to Stimpy, offscreen] THREE! [punch]

Ren: [offscreen] STIMPY, HELP ME!

Baby: [offscreen] FOUR! [punch]

Ren: [offscreen] Lemme go!

Baby: [offscreen] FIVE! [punch] SIX! [punch]

Ren: [offscreen] THAT'S ENOUGH!

Baby: [offscreen] SEVEN! [punch]

Ren: [offscreen] You're hurting me, aren't you!?

Baby: [offscreen] EIGHT! [punch] NINE! [punch]

Ren: [offscreen] I Don't like that!

[The iris was closing completely at the end of the episode.]

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