HE LITERALLY SAYS HES 12

(not that it's ever going to happen), i'm just saying if they ever had one what would the plot even be

Anyone?

"UNBREAKABLE"

A Ren & Stimpy: Adult Party Cartoon (Guarujá Version) Script

*[Scene opens inside Ren and Stimpy's house in Guarujá. The camera zooms in on Ren's DVD shelf, packed with his beloved movie collection. Stimpy stands in front of it, holding one of the DVDs with a goofy grin.]

STIMPY

(reading the back of the DVD case, confused)"Unbreakable"…? HURRR-HURR! That means it can't break!

(He cackles and, without hesitation, SNAPS THE DISC IN HALF LIKE A TWIG.)

REN (off-screen, in slow motion)

"WHAAAAAAAAAAAT?!?!?!"

(Camera cuts to Ren, eyes bulging, blood vessels popping, as he sprints toward Stimpy in a blur. His face turns deep red with rage.)

REN

(gasping, trembling, barely containing his fury)You... CRAZY SON OF A BITCH!!!

(The screen shakes violently as Ren lunges at Stimpy. He looks around frantically and grabs the first thing he sees—a scalding-hot cupcake fresh from the oven.)

(Ren hurls the cupcake full force at Stimpy’s dumb, grinning face. The frosting SIZZLES on contact, causing Stimpy’s skin to bubble and steam.)

STIMPY

(screams in pain, clutching his face)HOT-HOT-HOT-HOT-HOOOOOOOT!!!

(His fur bursts into flames for a second before he pats it out, revealing a giant, oozing second-degree burn on his cheek. His eye twitches.)

STIMPY

(groaning, barely coherent)I... I think I need a doctor...

[CUT TO: A creepy, dimly lit doctor’s office. Stimpy sits on an examination table, face covered in bandages. Mr. Horse, now a doctor, stares at him.]

MR. HORSE (DOCTOR HORSE)

(stern, arms crossed)So, tell me what happened.

STIMPY

(sniffles, voice muffled through the bandages)Ren… threw a cupcake at me… It was really, really hot… I got second-degree burns…

(Ren, sitting in the corner, bursts into uncontrollable laughter.)

REN (mocking)

Oooooooh! Look at me! I got buuuurned by a wittle cupcake! HAHAAAAAHAHA!

(Mr. Horse's pupils shrink. His body trembles. His face twists into pure terror.)

MR. HORSE (whispering, shaking)

…H-Hot cupcakes? Second-degree burns?

(His breathing gets heavier. Flashbacks of a mysterious cupcake-related trauma play in his head. His face snaps into pure RAGE. He GRABS REN in a bone-crushing headlock. The screen goes red.)

REN (screeching, struggling to breathe)

WHAT THE HELL?! GET OFF OF ME, YOU LUNATIC!

MR. HORSE (roaring like a demon)

I WON’T LET YOU HURT ANYONE WITH CUPCAKES EVER AGAIN!!!

*(The camera goes FULL CHAOS MODE as Mr. Horse drags Ren out of the office, still in a headlock. The background becomes a blur of speed lines. Ren flails wildly, but Mr. Horse’s grip is iron-tight.)

REN (kicking, screaming)

STIMPY, YOU IDIOT! CALL MY LAWYER!!!

(Stimpy watches, dumbfounded, blinking slowly.)

STIMPY

(shrugging, picking his nose)Aaaah, he’ll be fine.

(Camera follows Mr. Horse as he KICKS OPEN the doors to the local insane asylum. Two hulking orderlies immediately strap Ren into a straitjacket. The moment the door slams shut behind him, the screen goes black.)

REN (off-screen, muffled through the walls)

LET ME OUT OF HEEEEEEREEEEEEEEEEE!!!

(A big, red "The End" splashes onto the screen, accompanied by goofy kazoo music. Fade out.)

[END SCENE.]

I have so many reaction images from screenshots of this show 😭 heres some of em if anyone would find use

christmas merry

Back in June I completed typing out transcripts for the both the original show and APC.

I've made a PDF, and can be viewed here

Do what you will